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5 Denny’s Menu Items That Sound Like Dirty Sex Acts
Denny’s menus are getting closer and closer to a laundry list of sexual euphemisms rather than a selection of meal choices for breakfast at 4:30 am when you’re smashed out of your mind on malt liquor and pot you bought from a guy named Peanut Darryl on a street corner in the bad part of Hollywood.
Here’s the top 5 menu items at Denny’s that sound more like a dirty romp in the sack than a late night bite to eat:
5. Lumberjack Slam
Two buttermilk pancakes, a slice of grilled honey ham, two bacon strips, two sausage links and two eggs, plus you have to sleep with a woman that looks like John Goodman in a flannel shirt.
4. All-American Slam
Two buttermilk pancakes, a slice of grilled honey ham, two bacon strips, two sausage links and two eggs, with your choice of wearing a crotchless red, white, and blue Evel Knievel jumpsuit or an Uncle Sam top hat while you have sex doggie style in front of the TV while watching Rocky IV.
3. Meat Lover’s Scramble
Two horny guys scrambled with six even hornier guys, a big bag of ecstasy, and topped with a case of cheap, pink champagne. Served in the locked bathroom of a dark club where the bartender only wears black leather briefs, cowboy boots, and a tattoo of a nude Hugh Jackman on his chest. With your choice of fluffy pancakes or bottomless hashbrowns.
2. French Toast Slam
It’s French Toast that’s so good you don’t eat it, you fuck it. Yet it somehow still gives you diarrhea.
1. Moons Over My Hammy
I’ll let you figure this one out on your own.
This list was compiled by Comedy.com’s special Denny’s correspondent Mike Burns.
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Tags: lists
June 28th, 2008 at 6:35 am
You are kind of reaching for the sexual innuendos there, aren’t you? Are you the kind of person who twists every word another person says into some type of sexual meaning?
June 28th, 2008 at 7:57 am
[...] The Comedy Feed
June 28th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Oh yeah…I’ll have an order to go…Quick !!!!
June 28th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
@Lee451: It’s not the OP’s fault that Denny’s menu items sound dirty.
Gotta go for a quarter pounder at the golden arches…
Heh heh. I said pounder.
June 28th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
They used to call their deserts “Happy Endings” or something along those lines…
June 28th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
They have so many “slams” that it makes it easy. I remember about 10 or 15 years ago going into Friendly’s and they were pushing a uniquely-named ice cream treat. So when the waitress asked if anyone wanted a “Friendly Dutch Fudge Roll,” I asked if I had to go in the back room for that. She wasn’t amused, but the rest of my table, and the people at the next table thought it was a knee slapper. (Come to think of it, “Knee Slapper” sounds like it could be part of another dirty joke.)
August 23rd, 2008 at 6:37 am
Oh yes, and then there are the “stacked” and “double stacked” items. Like the waitresses, that turns out not to be the adolescent wet-dream it sounds like.