Not that we’ve ever actually watched MILF porn video clips on the Internet ourselves, but we’ve “heard” that it’s a rather popular genre. We’ve also “heard” that one of the most common “stories” in the genre involves “MILF Hunters,” who cruise the streets looking for hot MILFS to “star” in their “films.” This video features the MILF Solicitors, who are just like the MILF Hunters…only not quite as successful.

Ever wonder what it would be like if girls thought (and more importantly acted) like guys do? Of course you have. And so too has Comedy.com pal J Chris Newberg.

New reporters getting destroyed by various people and things.

USC cheerleaders are okay to look at.

11 best film moments of Samuel L. Jackson yelling.

Was Nick Jonas once the Pepsi girl?

Is Bayside’s hottest couple back together again?

I’m loving it!

The 8 worst bosses to work for.

13 people you didn’t know were on the Wonder Years.

Some Australian politician advocates using cattle prods on the unemployed?

Divorce makes your teeth fall out.

This thing is sweet. Whatever it is.

World’s coolest monkey?

12. “My landlord says I can’t have pets in the apartment anymore so I’d really appreciate if you let my self-sufficient, highly trained, kung-fu fighting, hilarious monkey live at your place and grow weed for you.”

11. “Get drunk and hit me. I know it means you love me.”

10. “Do you want to watch reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm and eat Frosted Flakes out of the assholes of these Brazilian twins I met scuba divining to find Atlantis?”

9. “I found this Oreo on the carpet but it’s really clean.”

8. “I just the won the lottery! But my family is already so loaded so would you mind keeping the money and my collection of Kurt Russell movies?”

7. “My hot friends accidentally took HD-quality videos of themselves naked and making out and I need you to stash the tapes at your place while I blow you. Please, I’ll owe you one.”

6. “I ate these five boxes of cereal and Cracker Jacks but I don’t want the prizes. Do you know anyone who would want random glow in the dark toys?”

5. “Rap to me.”

4. “I feel rejected when you don’t cum on my chest and then burp.”

3. “If you keep putting the toilet seat down, how am I gonna get a chance to practice?”

2. “My cousins, the Myth Busters guys, don’t have anyone to hang out with for the next 4 months. Would you mind keeping them company? They love blowing shit up.”

1. We don’t have anyone to judge the Hot Naked Porn Star Lesbian Slam Dunk Festival Competition!

6. BlackBerries come from Canada.

RIM, the company that came up with BlackBerry is based in Ontario. And John McCain totally isn’t Canadian. He’s from Panama. But, luckily for McCain, Sarah Palin can probably see Canada from certain porches in Alaska.

5. He wouldn’t have named it that.

Unsubstantiated rumors suggest that when McCain first saw the BlackBerry, he tried to name it “the Magic Talking Thingy” before advisers half-explained to him how it worked. Plus, he thinks that people who say that whole “blacker the berry, sweeter the juice” saying are “uppity”.

4. He wouldn’t have invented something that requires you to bring your arms up to your head.

Just saying.

3. He doesn’t know how to use email, the Internet or a keyboard.

And that’s kind of the point with BlackBerries.

2. He prefers communicating via hologram.

This photo of McCain using hologram technology comes from a documentary shot in 1980.

1. Al Gore already invented it.

Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine. He has contributed nothing to society.

Years before he became famous enough to spend his time joking around with Bill Gates in funny Microsoft commercials, Jerry Seinfeld got his big break on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Here’s a look back at how it all began for Seinfeld, with Carson encouraging him to “take a bow” after his successful set.

Here’s what we know about this video - it features a guy wearing a mask that has bananas attached to it and those bananas apparently have some kind of fireworks attached to them which he proceeds to one by one ignite and blow up the bananas on his mask. Now here’s what we don’t know about this video: anything else.

It might seem like Disney’s biggest stars - the Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, and Zac Efrons of the world - come off of an assembly line and as this Onion news report reveals…that’s exactly true. The video explains how Disney genetically engineers its “stars” to capture the hearts of young girls and unknowingly gay boys all over the world.

For the sake of being honest, let’s be totally dishonest. Let’s tell the untruth. Let’s smile pretty with weapons loaded.

Michael Phelps: He won eight gold metals and now he has been on SNL, approximately 24 Playmates, and is everywhere. People are now annoyed with him for doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY WOULD DO. True, he bugs me, but I would switch with him faster than you can say 4th Jonas Brother.

Jonas Brothers: You confuse me. Are you a band? Are you a workout troupe? You’re saving yourself for marriage? Bigger tan the Beatles? Maybe if you measure in “Jew Fro’s.” Come on America, these kids F more than Russell Brand at the Bunny Ranch. Does anyone really care that they do? They represent Disney. Disney is the single most evil empire alive. Their creator is frozen and waiting for an opportunity to return and just hang out. Not against anything pure or real at all.

Dancing With The Stars: I would rather sprint across the desert for 3 straight days and be rewarded with toast than ever have to watch this show.

America’s Got Talent: Ummm… No they don’t!

New Judge for American Idol: It’s Jump The Shark time for that show. Adding a new, younger, hipper member of the cast, when has that worked? See: Growing Pains, Brady Bunch, Different Strokes, and Menudo.

I could go on, but I don’t want to. I have a show. Then I have to eat soup- Then I have to write a real blog in a few days, so cut this boy some slack. I am I am I am J Chris Newberg.

J Chris Newberg is a comic, actor, producer, song writer, and author living in Los Angeles and occasionally Detroit with his loyal and aging Cocker Spaniel, Flower. You can find him at jchrisnewberg.com, myspace.com/jchrisnewberg, or just google him because you know you want to. His column runs every Thursday.